New year...new me?

It is another 3 days to the the new year. but somehow i don't really feel excited about it. not that i am dreading it...but it would be nice to feel some anticipation.

let's take a recap on what i have achieved in the past year...

1. gave birth to my baby boy
2. overcome breastfeeding "teething problems"
3. started my handmade jewellery business (http://ShopSuraSura.com)!
4. quit my job (not sure if this is an achievement...but it was definitely something huge and impactful)
5. enhanced my *ehem* culinary skills
6. lost most of my pregnancy weight (a hefty 20 kilos!)

so i guess i didn't do too badly this year.

now that the new year is coming, perhaps it is only right that i set new targets.
1. grow my jewellery business - planning a few major milestones like a bridal collection, an exclusive collection for etsy and maybe find a shop where i can display my collection.
2. lose MORE weight to achieve wedding weight! (about another 5-6 kilos to lose)
3. start baking in my kitchen (usually i bake at my mother's!), which means i need to start growing my baking utensils. :)
4. make my own pizza from scratch (this is a small goal...but a goal nevertheless :))
5. be a better Muslim, wife, daughter, mother, sister, friend by listening more, being kind and getting rid of envy and jealousy.
6. to update this blog more often!

so here is to a new year...and a new (better?) me...

the final countdown and my wishlist...

this is it...i am already having signs of early labour...

1. intensified contractions (more frequent and with a bit of pain and achiness down below)
2. lightening - baby dropping down into the pelvis. i can literally feel this! it is as if a bowling ball is about to fall out of my vee jay jay...:p
3. persistent lower back pain. mine is more achy throughout my back. like i just carried a ton of bricks on my back. it's more uncomfortable than painful.
4. crampy PMS-period-pain like feeling. i thought i'd forget how this feels considering i've gone without my "monthly visits" for 9 months! but...it was so familiar...like meeting my long-lost-enemy.
5. my vaginal discharge had a brownish tint yesterday. which apparently is the mucus plug.

what i didn't get is...

1. water bag breaking
2. opening of my cervix. well to be honest i have no idea if it has opened or not...:p and i guess i wouldn't know until the doctor checks me!

despite having these symptoms...apparently it might still be a few days (or a few hours) before the "active" labour starts. so...i am now patiently waiting.

mcdreamy and i are quite excited and nervous. more excited though.
my bags are packed (complete with maternity pads, baby diapers, baby and mummy clothes, book, ipod, camera, toiletries, socks...and many more! hehe).
we have signed up to cyrocord...for the stem cell collection at birth. so, the pack is with the hospital bag!

so, it really is the final countdown. and insyallah soon, i will be able to hold my baby boy in my arms. we kind of know how he looks like too! cause we went for a 3D/4D scan at Vision College, Kelana Jaya.

our baby boy at 34 weeks

people say he has his father's face. they are just biased. :p hahaha

i AM looking forward to giving birth! because these are the stuff I would like to do, which I have not done for 9 months!

1. sleep on my belly
2. drink coffee (though i don't think i can do much of this...cause i am planning to breastfeed)
3. eat sushi!
4. eat smoked salmon!
5. RUN RUN RUN!
6. yoga!
7. wear high heels...:D
8. heck, wear normal and pretty shoes!
9. wear jeans again -have been living in yoga pants...:p
10. lose weight

so, insyallah everything will go smoothly. i can't wait!!
maybe it will be tonight? :D

an interesting journey so far...

27 weeks 1 day - looking more and more like a gorilla...

it has been almost 10 weeks since my last i-am-pregnant-update!

my body

i have gained a total of 10 kilos since i got pregnant. which gives me another 10 kilos allowance (according to the doctor that is) till the end of my term...
i do feel at times that i resemble a mama gorilla when i look at my naked self in the mirror...

ok, maybe my boobs are perkier. and i am really hoping that it stays perky even after birth. feeling absolutely paranoid that my boobs will sag. i am just picturing me over the stove, swinging my droppy boobs over my shoulders so that it won't get in the way while frying some chicken. :p

maybe i should get this and start using it now...cause apparently you can only use this during pregnancy and a min of 6 months AFTER breastfeeding. make sense, as i think this won't taste nice in my baby's mouth if i were to use it during...:p

i have bought their leg care gel. my legs swell a LOT especially in the evenings. and it gets so uncomfortable and tight!

when i went to jakarta for a wedding, and was in heels (i thought wedges would be ok) for the whole day...my legs became unrecognisable! my ankles were so swollen it didn't look like ankles anymore!

i have always had a problem with swollen legs and ankles. but this definitely worsen when i am pregnant. something to do with the uterus pushing down on a the vena cava which is a vein that carries fluids and blood from the lower half of your body to the upper half.

and i think because of this circulation issue...my cellulite is MORE apparent! especially on my thighs, hips and butt. i was so grossed out when i looked down while sitting and saw the 'orange peel' effect. eew.

so, i have started doing some 'dry body brushing' every morning, which is supposed to increase circulation. bought a long handled body brushes (you need all the help when you have a big pregnant belly). every morning, i will brush my body from toe upwards. apparently, it needs a month to 5 months to see any difference.

i am also in the midst of training myself to sleep on my side. when i read up online, they say it is better to sleep on your left, as it helps keep the uterus off your liver and also improves circulation to the heart. this means better blood flow to the fetus, uterus and kidneys...also, my belly is so big now...i sometimes can't breathe properly when i lie down on my back!

what i do is i support my whole body with pillows. thin pillow under my belly. thicker pillow between my legs and another pillow at my back to prevent me from rolling onto my back...oh how i miss sleeping on my back...and on my belly...

so i guess, it sounds like EVERYTHING is bad bad bad...which is not entirely true...

i am very grateful that my belly still looks relatively nice. BIG...but at least the skin is smooth.

so far, there are no stretch marks in sight. and it's no longer itchy (changed from palmer's cocoa butter to body shop's cocoa butter). i was told that creams/lotions containing lanolin (sheep fat) can cause the itchiness. that's why i have changed to PURE cocoa butter.

my linea negra has become apparent and obvious. i used to dislike it...but it is beginning to grow on me. i see it as my badge-of-honour...:p

a linea negra is actually a pigmented line that goes from your pubic area to your belly button. this usually happens to dark-skinned people...

oh! and i am now officially an OUTIE. yes. my belly button has POPPED and is especialy
visible when i wear clingy/tight tops...i also used to hate this...and tried to massage it back in (which of course made no difference)...but i guess it looks kinda cute...:p

eat me...

thankfully during this pregnancy i have not craved for anything outlandish. no peanut butter with fries dipped in pickle juice (eew). i did have a strong liking for potatoes at one point, but that has died down...

i try to eat as healthy as possible, but there are times when i can't avoid fast food.

every morning, i will have fruits..and try to fit in veges whenever and wherever i can...

me, me and me...

i won't say my emotions have been running wild. i am not crying one moment and laughing the next...but i CAN cry easier these days...

mcdreamy had a shock, when i burst into tears when he told me he is too tired to massage me. good thing is...i got my massage...hehehe...bad thing is, i don't think i should repeat that too often...must be used sparingly so that i can utilise this to the fullest...hehe...

my baby...

i only have MONTHLY dates with my baby boy. wish i could have my own scanner at home...but i don't think the doc would be too pleased if i took one of his scanning thingamajigs home. i did however found this device at mothercare.

Heart-to-Heart® Prenatal Listening System

It's quite cool! cause you can hear your baby's heartbeat, kicks and hiccups! and you can record it to for memory keepsakes...:) it does however cost a whopping rm250. dammit.

so for now, i have to "settle" for my monthly "dates" with him when i go for my antenatal checkups.

latest scans...

21 weeks 3 days - this was a 3d scan..it's quite cool cause we can see his face, hands and feet...but at this stage, he still looked a bit like an alien. mcdreamy thinks he looks like the avatar character...haha

23 weeks - it looked like he was blowing a bubble...but it is actually him sucking his thumb...:)

27 weeks - couldn't really get a good look at his face, because he was facing downwards. it looked as if he was bowing down in prayer...hehe..you can see his spine though!

everytime i see this baby growing in my belly...and feel him kicking me from inside...i forget about the pain and discomfort...and my weight gain...

because in all honesty, i absolutely LOVE being pregnant...*heart*

woke up in the middle of the night...

to mcdreamy whispering to my belly...

*heart*

and now we know...:)

18 weeks 2 days - getting fat but extremely happy

mcdreamy and i went for our prenatal checkup yesterday with dr. zarul.
it was quite funny because i had a total blonde moment.

nurse: ok, puan. tolong pergi ke tandas dan sila gunakan ini (handing me a tiny test strip) untuk ujian kencing puan.
(looking apprehensively at her)
nurse: puan tak pernah buat test ni ke?
me: tak...(nervous laughter)
nurse: dalam toilet tu ade botol...lepas tu, letakkan kertas test ni ke dalam botol.
(ok, sounds easy enough).

as i walked into the toilet, i saw ONE cup perched on the sink.
so, i picked it up...and peed into it.

peeing into a cup is not easy for a woman, as we do not have guiding aids. :p
so, it can be a bit gross and messy.
but for the baby...i persevered.

pee. done.
put strip into cup. done.
saw that there was a cover on the sink.
put on cover. done.

ok now, what? do i bring it out to the reception and hand it to the nurse?
or do leave it?

so...i brought it out. my (thankfully) light yellow pee in full view of everyone that was in the waiting room.

me: nurse, botol ni bagi kat siape?
nurse: eh! tinggal botol tu kat toilet dan basuh! kita nak strip tu je nak check glucose level...
(erk)

trudging back to the toilet, i felt so embarassed. what a rookie! :p
so, i flushed down the pee...washed the bottle..then realised i just held a bottle/cup that everyone else has been peeing into. GROSS.

finally after about 15-20 mins, we were called in to see the doctor.
i have put on another 2 kilos since my last visit (last month)...and thankfully the doc said i am NOT overweight (woo hoo!).

he even said that my tummy still looks very good at this stage (no stretch marks!)...which made me feel much much better about myself.

and there he was...our little munchkin.
this time, the scan wasn't very clear. it also looked a bit cramped in there! but the doctor assured that it isn't. in fact, the baby is still turning around in my belly...doing somersaults and other stuff...
the doc said he was sucking on his thumb again! something i definitely need to DISCIPLINE him OFF...hehehe not a fan of thumb suckers...
we saw his heart blinking...his spine...his ribs...and finally...there it was.
to confirm that it is INDEED a HE!

in all his glory!

doc: i thiiiink this looks like a boy (more probing)...oh wait..it's DEFINITELY a boy. see this? (pointing to something that looks like a bird with erm massive wings)
mcdreamy: yes, that's definitely MY son!

Hahaha, what a joker..that husband of mine...

so, here is a scan of the baby...sadly, this scan is not as clear as the one from 14 weeks...but you can make out the head and body...:)

18 weeks

14 weeks

so yes...! now, it's time to "shop" for names (though, we are almost certain of a name already...;))...and to SHOP SHOP for boys stuff!

mcdreamy is already fantasizing about a manchester united themed nursery...but obviously that will NOT get through me. :p fo' sho.

a growing belly...bum, thighs, bust...and just about everything

17 weeks 1 day - emotional, weepy and fat....

i am getting BIG! i can't help but feel a bit envious towards other pregnant women, who manages to maintain every other part of their body, except the inevitable belly and boobs.

my thighs are getting even MORE jello-er than before, and not to mention the circumference! damn...

i went to this website, which tells you how much weight you should have gained at every week.

and based on the calculation, i have gained 4.9 kilos since i got preggers!
AND...according to them, at 17 weeks i am 1.3 kilos OVERWEIGHT!
blast those nachos and pastries i have been having!

therefore, i am VERY determined to ehem..."slow down" this weight gain. apparently i am only supposed to be putting on 1 lbs a week in this second trimester.

i am also very glad that i have started exercising regularly.
last week, i started swimming again in the mornings. i really do enjoy this as i feel so light in the water...and it really is quite refreshing to feel the cold water on my skin.
however...i couldn't fit into all my previous swimming suits due to the enlarged boobs and belly...

i am targeting to go every other day. thinking of alternating this with light walking on the treadmill (which sadly feels more like work...hehehe)...

so, i HAD to invest in a new one. bought a tankini...a bit more modest than bikinis...and less constricting than a one-piece.

i also went for my first 'prenatal' yoga at beyoga with lila.
i have to admit, it is quite mild. a lot of stretching, which feels LOVELY...and there were some partnering, where we learn how to massage (and be massaged) to ease backaches and stuff...

but this class will not be good to 'beat the flab'. however, i do think it is essential so that your muscles are stretched and i believe that having supple joints and muscles can help at childbirth (at least that's what i read!).
so, i am targeting to go 1-2 times a week for this.

and i really got to stop binge-ing on the fatty foods...which i know its TOUGH!
but i will definitely make a conscious effort to reduce the intake.

*sigh*...how la to be a hot yummy mama like heidi klum!??!

risk-taker

we got the results from the triple test (finally!).
as expected, i did fall under 'increased risk for down syndrome', with the probability of 1:50.
however, dr. zarul assured us that despite the high ratio, i shouldn't dwell on it too much. in fact, this tests have so many parameters to it that requires prefect measurements to get accurate results.
he has also seen many cases where babies turn out to be perfectly normal and healthy even with this probability.

either way, i am ok. mcdreamy and i have faith that our baby will turn out fine, insyallah.

and that is why we are definitely not taking the amnio test...which surprisingly the doc commended us for.

so we had another scan...and it has to be the BEST SCAN i have ever had so far!

our little baby was so freaking adorable. when dr. zarul placed the scanner on my belly, the first thing we saw was the baby sucking on his thumb! after that he put his hand on his forehead (which i do a lot) and started chewing on something. the doc said that he is probably eating or drinking (so gross...by now the baby pees and drinks it back...hehehe).

after looking at the size and the weight (89 g!)...my estimated due date went back to 18 April 2010! hehehe...which means that i am now at 14 weeks 3 days...

so, here it is...our little one (unfortunately no pic of him sucking on his thumb)...at 14 weeks...alhamdulillah we have both survived our first trimester together...

me in my mummy's belly at 14 weeks