i have missed work for a MONTH now. that's FOUR WEEKS of being MIA from work. a part of me is a bit worried of the implication it will have on my career. and a part of me is a bit worried that i will be completely lost when i DO go back. and another part of me do NOT want to even think of going back...
in the last 2 weeks, my "morning" sickness usually peaked at 6pm on the dot. which means, whatever goes in after 6pm...usually comes out again. all the throwing up exhausted me so much that i end up pretty much lying down and resting all day.
i haven't actually found a solution to my morning sickness. however, these few things did help me...sort of:
1. assam - i have finished 3 bottles already
2. sea bands - these are wristbands with plastic balls pressing on a pressure point, which can relieve nausea. bought this at fabulousmom.com (they have a shop at taman tun dr. ismail - on top of BSN).
3. making sure i am not hungry at ANY time - i am so SICK of crackers. so, i pretty much eat anything. which is bad. because now...i am quite fat. yikes.
but TODAY, i am happy to note...that i am feeling ok! therefore, i think i SHOULD be ok to attempt work tomorrow. *shudder*
Can't Fit into Clothes
yes. now that i am a freaking giant, i am permanently in stretchy yoga pants and forgiving t-shirts.
1. my belly has started to protrude. though, i am unsure if its bloated due to gas, or if it's really the baby.
2. my boobs has swelled to melons, much to mcdreamy's delight.
3. surprisingly, my ass is more toing toing...though my thighs are noticably flabbier (i think due to my inactive state)
either way...if i am thinking of starting work tomorrow...i had better get some new clothes.
Shocking News
on a more serious note...
at my 10th week of being pregnant, i had my scheduled visit with dr. guna (damansara specialist hospital). as usual he scanned me. but this time round, he took a bit longer. and as usual, he was very quiet, which of course made me worry.
and true enough, after some excruciating minutes of waiting, he finally told us that our baby has a chance of Down Syndrome.
*sigh*
he drew a picture to sort of explain to us in a few words how he came to conclude that. he said that the gap between the line and the baby's neck was wider than it was supposed to be. the measurement was about 3.8mm (average is less than 2mm). he gave us an option to either go for the CVS test or amnio test (both involving large and long needles), which he told us has a risk of miscarriage.
it felt as if my world has toppled upside down. i was holding back the tears because i didn't want to cry in front of the doctor.
but as soon as i left the room...it all came out. mcdreamy was visibly upset too, but i can tell he was trying to be strong for me.
when i came home, the first thing i did was to read anything and everything i can find online.
and then, i noticed there was something wrong. firstly...the "gap between the line and the baby's neck" is called the nuchal translucency, which is actually fluid that collect at the baby's neck. it IS true that if it's thicker than it should be, it could be a sign that the baby has Down Syndrome.
what i felt was a bit awry...
1. he didn't carry out the blood test (triple test), which apparently will give a better result combined with the NT (nuchal transulency) scan.
2. he didn't mention that the "result" is more of identifying the risk, rather than it being confirmed. and yes, the cvs/amnio test WILL give confirmed results.
3. he didn't even mention the terms nuchal transulency. i didn't like how he didn't explain anything in detail to us.
therefore, we decided to go for a second opinion (and possible change my gyane all together).
we also decided it was time we turn to Allah for guidance. after all, it is He who forms and He who decides.
after talking to some friends, mcdreamy and i decided to try out dr. zarul from putra medical centre (PMC).
i found that i am definitely more comfortable with dr. zarul. he explained to us in detail, and didn't treat us like idiots. he also said that NT scans have to be done by certified scan specialists, of which he then called his colleague dr. ansun to come and scan us later that night.
he took my blood (which was terrifying, but surprisingly not TOO painful), which will be sent together with the NT scan to calculate the risk of Down Syndrome.
as a doctor, i found him to be very calming, kind and assuring. he is also a devout Muslim, which i appreciate. I guess I feel much safer to be in the hands of someone who does everything in the name of Allah.
so last night, we went again to PMC to do the NT scan with dr. ansun. she was also a very nice doctor (very motherly) who apparently has vast experience in scanning. when she measured, it turned out to be between 2.5mm-2.7mm.
according to her, this is borderline high, which does denote Down Syndrom symptoms. however, she said that firstly, she is giving a biased opinion because by right, a blood test should be done first. she also assured me (when i asked) that other patients with the same readings turned out to be negative. she advised me, in the end...it is all up to Allah. which i totally agree.
however, the fact that the measurements were greatly different to dr. guna's made me wonder:
1. did Allah listented to my prayers?
2. was dr. guna's measurements wrong to begin with?
either way, i would like to believe it was with the powers of Allah that there is an improvement to the readings.
in fact, mcdreamy and i are definitely more positive about things.
and even after everything, it turns out our little one is still with Down Syndrome...then so be it. like dr. ansun said, we could be the chosen ones to have a special baby. either way...i will love this baby with all my heart. anyway, how can you not love him, especially after seeing this on the screen...
our little one...
12 weeks
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